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Submitted on
May 3, 2013
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Date a guy who writes. Date a guy whose fingers are stained with ink, whose pockets are filled with pens, and whose eyes smile and dance with curiosity. Date a guy who notices things like the colour of your hair and the way you have your coffee, not because he has to, but just because it’s a habit of his to notice things. Date a guy who can barely get around a computer, but is expert with his word processor. It doesn’t matter; he prefers pen and paper anyway.

Find a guy who writes. You’ll find him just outside a library. He’ll like the idea of being outside, on the verge of a thousand worlds, a few steps away. He’ll love the idea of being outside, on the brink of one world, a few carefully placed letters away.

Or he will be inside a café. He doesn’t care whether it’s boutique or Gloria Jeans, moodily or well lit, though he likes it there especially when it’s raining. He will be the one with a notebook in one hand, pen in the other, lounging back and trying to think of how to best word what he wants to say next. Buy him a coffee. Or a tea. Or a hot chocolate. Buy him something to eat, too. He’d forgotten about food and he needs help remembering. Understand that he wants to talk to you, but if he drifts off for a moment, or bends forward to hurriedly scribble something, it’s because you’ve inspired him. This is a good thing.

Ask him what he’s writing. If he shows you, he’s being honest, exposing his heart. Return the favour. Tell him how his work makes you feel, not how you feel about his work. He’s sensitive, but eager to become better. He will love when you get what he’s on about, when you laugh at his jokes, admire the way he plays with words, adore his imagery, recognise his references. He will love you when you love his work. If he doesn’t show you, don’t be disheartened. He isn’t ready yet, but he will be. It will be all the sweeter for the wait.

He will spend hours with you, entranced with you. He tries to fathom you, but he knows he won’t ever completely, and he’s okay with this. In fact, this makes him feel kind of glad. He likes complex characters. He wants to create them, and being around them helps.

Kiss him. You have to be first, because he’s not sure whether he’s misreading the signals. He would hate to confuse the tendrils of a daydream with the jarring of reality. You have to be first because he’s too scared to lose you. After that, he will lose himself in you, without hesitation. There’s no misreading that first kiss.

Don’t lie to him. He won’t lie to you because he hopes you’ll be honest with him. Show integrity. He appreciates that. Then again, lie to him. He loves your complexity, and the cadence of your untruths will ensnare him, your weaving of excuses will remind him that humanity is duplicitous in its very nature. He likes being reminded of humanity.

Tell him when you fail. He understands. He will fail, too. He knows he will eventually have editors and proofreaders for mistakes. He knows he has you for when he fails. He hopes you will have him when you do the same.

Complain to him, tell him how your day was. It may not be relevant to his story, but he’ll want to hear your voice. He’ll store these details away and use them when even you have forgotten. He will remember. It’s a habit.

Make him do things spontaneously. Experiment with him. Make him do things he would never do. He will love you for this, because sometimes he wishes he could do the things he writes about, be the characters he dreams of. You can make this happen.

He will propose to you. Probably with a slip of paper, words neatly printed, hidden inside a fountain pen you gave him, or in place of the bookmark you always use. He may not say anything out loud, but his heart is screaming for you. Know that he finds comfort in the written word, in its solidarity, in its stasis. For him, the written word is true, and does not change. Remember, he is a writer, and this is who he is. Accept this, and you accept him.

You will have children. They will grow up, fed on a diet of strange worlds and captivating snapshots of language and wild turns of phrase, become accustomed to the essence of images distilled by the purity of a pen. Even better, they also will write.

They will grow old, and you will realise that you, too, have grown older. He’d made you forget with his homespun tales. Or maybe it was that habit of his that you’d made your own: you drift off again.

He dies. Or you die. It doesn’t matter who goes first, the other won’t be far behind. But neither of you are really dead. He has captured a little of you in everything he’s written, a little of himself, too. You both live on through his words, eternally entwined.

You should date a guy who writes.
You really should. I write. ;)

This is a response to the 'You should date an illiterate girl' and 'You should date a girl who reads' essays, and all of their offspring ('A girl who writes' and 'A man who reads', among others). I felt inspired, let's just say. Anyway, I would love to hear what you think, if there are parts that don't work well or sound corny, stupid, clunky, etc.

Feel free to drop a comment, I love replying to you and making new friends!

[Also found on my blog and on tumblr.]
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While lacking a bit of originality (being a response to all these other 'you should date' essays), it is still a good piece of writing.

Sometimes I think the grammar is too structured in some parts. Good pieces of writing don't have to be 100% grammatically correct. Neither do great ones.

It has a lot of references specifically to you in - which is good, but it sometimes become a cliche/stereotype.

It reads well and flows nicely. Quite empathetic to readers as well.
One of your better pieces of writing :p

P.S. I mark harshly, so don't feel disheartened!
And remember, the best pieces of writing are the ones where you aren't trying. For then it is your voice coming out.
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
6 out of 7 deviants thought this was fair.

First of all, I was amazed at how very accurately you described the life of a true writer - or, at least, the ideal life of one: being constantly inspired, spending one's time at libraries and coffee shops and listening to the rain... It's all very well and very accurately described, I think:aww: Your phrasing is artful and poetic, even in prose, but it's still easy to follow and the train of thought is easy to see. You have a good mix of sentence structures and phrasing order, as well as a nice variety of interesting vocabulary, though I think there are a couple of times where you phrased something a little too formally for the overall attitude you've already got going on in the piece.

I found very few grammatical errors, though there is one spot in paragraph 4 where you said, "recognizes his references" and I think you meant "recognize his references." Though I said earlier that your line of thinking is easy to follow, there was one spot that was more difficult to understand in paragraph 7. First you say that "don't lie to him" and then, only a couple of short sentences later, you say "then again, lie to him." I think I can see (from what you wrote after that) what you mean by putting in both of those ideas, but I don't think the explanation you provide is enough.... or maybe it's just not clear enough, but it needs something more, I think.

In your author's comment area, you ask for notification if there are any places that sound cheesy, etc., but I think I can assure you that it's not - on the contrary, I think it's sweet and very accurate as to the mindset of any writer (male or female:D). Overall, I really loved this piece, and you did a great job with it!
What do you think?
The Artist thought this was FAIR
10 out of 10 deviants thought this was fair.

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LaughMakerAna Featured By Owner Jul 15, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
I love this! I can totally relate to this as I am dating a writer. He's a very complex himself though. 
This is brilliant. Beautifully woven together! 
BlakeCurran Featured By Owner Jul 20, 2014  Student Writer
Thanks so much! I'm really pleased you can relate (means I'm doing my job right!) :D

Thanks for the fave as well :hug:
LaughMakerAna Featured By Owner Jul 21, 2014  Hobbyist Writer
No problem! Thanks for writing such a good piece!
thatwasagreatname Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014
this is wonderful!
BlakeCurran Featured By Owner Feb 16, 2014  Student Writer
Thank you! :heart:
Black-Eevee Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014  Student Writer
I'm dating a guy who writes.
BlakeCurran Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014  Student Writer
Can you relate to this at all?
(And welcome to dA!)
Black-Eevee Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014  Student Writer
Thanks and yes
BlakeCurran Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014  Student Writer
Oh good :D
Black-Eevee Featured By Owner Jan 8, 2014  Student Writer
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