Gosh, I don't know.
I want to love that first one, I really do. But I don't.
I spend a lot of time in libraries. I am that girl. And you just, you missed the heart of it. You missed the delicacy, the way every movement is treasured, every book is a treat.
It's difficult to explain. It feels ... empty.
This time, I went in skeptical - based on nothing but the title. I am always careful with pieces about libraries or books because they lie so very, very close to my heart. Perhaps my heart is a library. In any case, I am careful because so many people write about books, libraries, girls that read and boys who don't read but try to love the girl anyway but very few succeed in telling it the way it feels.
This time, I loved it. This time, I found myself in every line, even though you described different 'types' - of which there are many. This time, you found the heart - it wasn't the girl, it wasn't the boy. It was - is, the books, the shelves, the high vaulted ceiling that presses the mustiness and the ink into a perfume.
You did well. Thank you.
You're most welcome. I'm glad you chose the angle you did. (Some crazy idea that girls that read are untouchable, unreachable, dangerous, beautiful, etc. Most of us aren't. It's a stereotype. I'd far rather meet a guy that reads as avidly as I do.)
Which few lines?
Bookworm is an irritating term. Just because I read, does not mean that I am a worm. However, I do appreciate one aspect of it - worms take a lot of debris and turn it into something wonderfully useful. Readers do this.
Ah, thank you. That is the third time I have received a compliment on my typical conversation today. I appreciate it greatly.
It is written more like an essay rather than poetry in some parts, mainly in the long horizontal lines (in my opinion anyway). It's an attempt at prose poetry yeah?
It is very over written in the first paragraph, the same with the second.
"trace the tanned edges of crisp pages with the tips of your fingers" - couldn't you just put "tracing the tanned page edges with your fingertips"? (I know it isn't perfect, but its just that bit smaller and more concise)
It's very, very dense. Not to mention over-embellished. Less is always more. Cut it down a bit. We have all been to library (I hope), we know what they look like.
I like the intent, but I just get lost in the over zealous pursuit of poetic function.
I think "low ink - cardiac arrest" is very jarring. I don't know why though.
I sometimes feel as is you are just listing things that you know or like.
I don't much care for the structure. Choose one style - full page or half page - you can't have both. Not to mention the
part. Maybe just make it one line?
I like the piece, don't get me wrong. Just a bit flowery.
I think you have an slight obsession with books. Okay, maybe a tad more than slight. Maybe broaden your poetic horizons to something other than writers and books. It just seems so pointless that a writer is writing about books. Almost everything I have read from you is about books lately.